Smita Thakeray is joining Hurriyat? « makeSplash.com by Sush Jaitly

Smita Thakeray is joining Hurriyat?

November 28th, 2009

Smita- Hey Pops! I’m leavin’.

Bal Thakeray (BT)- What! You haven’t even made my khichdi yet. You can’t leave.

Smita- I don’t care about your khichdi anymore. I’m leavin’.

BT- OK OK! Never mind. I’ll tell Raj to make it. He’s actually very good at making khichdi. See the way he has made a khichdi out of Marathi Manoos. Do you know I taught him that?

Smita- I wish you had taught Udhav also the same thing.

BT- I thought you were leaving.

Smita- I am.

BT- While on your way back get 250 gms dahi for my raita.

Smita- Pops, you’ve lost it completely. I’m leavin’ for good. I’m not coming back. Do you get it now?

BT- What the hell! Why have you suddenly decided to leave us?

Smita- That’s because you did not publish my article in Saamna.

BT- That’s because I did not understand it.

Smita- But it was written in Marathi, Pops.

BT- Even then.

Smita- And you did not give me a seat for Rajya Sabha either.

BT- Bahu, that chair has gone for repairs. As soon as the carpenter repairs it you’ll get your seat.

Smita- Your carpenter is also like you, old and defunct. Besides, you also did not give me a Shiv Sena ticket for assembly elections.

BT- By the time you came to the ticket counter they had all been sold out. You were late.

Smita- You sold those tickets?

BT- Is there any other way it’s done?

Smita- Forget it, Pops. I’ve had enough of you and your khichdi. Actually, this is the main reason why I’m leaving. I’m sick of having khichdi three times a day.

BT- Beta, you know we are going through a recession. Khichdi is the cheapest option.

Smita- Even after selling all those tickets you don’t have enough money to buy decent food?

BT- Beta, it is only after selling those tickets that we are able to buy rice for our khichdi.

Smita- Don’t give me that crap, Pops. I saw you having halwa yesterday.

BT- That was sent by LK Advani. In any case, that was the last halwa he sent me. Very soon he himself will be down to khichdi.

Smita- No pops. Given the way things are it’s not just Advani but the entire BJP will be down to khichdi. And that’s exactly the reason why I’m joining Congress.

BT- Congress? Are you out of your mind? Why don’t you join RSS?

Smita- I don’t like their shorts. They are too long. And besides, Soniaji has promised to loan me her Italian sarees and shoes.

BT- What? Italians are making sarees these days?

Smita- Yeah, at the rate at which Berlusconi is going they need to cover every Italian woman in sarees so that he gets confused where to start from. Get the picture?

BT- OK Ok! But what about those shoes?

Smita- Oh, Soniaji has a nice collection. She’s giving me a couple of them.

BT- If it’s shoes that you want why don’t you join AIADMK? Not only has Amma herself got seven hundred pairs but the people of Tamil Nadu also keep throwing their shoes at her. No one can beat her collection.

Smita- What about ideology, Pops?

BT- Do you think AIADMK has an ideology?

Smita- No Pops. I’m through with Ammas. My kaamwali amma is more than enough to make up for all the ammas of this world. Besides, I’m not very keen on idli sambhar either. I want to have mutton chops and tandoori chicken.

BT- In that case the options are PDP (People’s Democratic Party) and SAD (Shiromani Akali Dal).

Smita- There’s a party called PDP in our country?

BT- Yeah, there is but it is as good as not being there. Mufti Mohammad Sayeed, remember?

Smita- Oh the one who released five militants in exchange for his daughter Rubina Sayeed? No Pops. I’m not joining his party. He may not do it for some one like me. You see, I’m not his daughter after all. I don’t want to put him in an awkward position, just in case.

BT- Don’t worry. He’ll never be in any worthwhile position ever again in his life.

Smita- What about SAD?

BT- Go ahead if you can live with that name.

Smita- I guess not.

BT- How about Mayawati’s BSP?

Smita- What? Haathi mere saathi? Do I have to live with animals now?

BT- No bahu. I suggested BSP because it’s BAHU-jan Samaj Party. And you are my bahu. Aren’t you?

Smita- Grow up, Pops.

BT- How about Hurriyat?

Smita- Pops, they want to divide India!

BT- How does it matter? I’ve lived and thrived by those very virtues. And besides, you’ll get to eat mutton chops, gostaba and what have you.

Smita- Yeah, Pops. It’s settled then. I’ll join Hurriyat Conference. Bye Pops. And give my love to UD-half Thakeray.